Well I didn’t keep to my promise very well did I? I know it’s been a long time since my last post but I do have a good reason…out new house! Yay! Yes, it finally happened and we moved in last week!

It’s been one of the most stressful but exciting things I’ve ever done but I have to say that I’m glad it’s all over now! According to friends this has been a pretty straightforward move, no real problems to cause us any delay and no chain to contend with. On the practical side it’s been plain sailing but I still felt anxious and by the end I (well, we) were completely exhausted.

I think it’s just that the whole process is so demanding. You have to organise so much stuff, call people, fill in paperwork- and send it back to the correct department. Hope the said department has actually received it and will file it somewhere safe…not use it as a place to put a hob nob! You find this process repeats itself every couple of days!

Working full time, attempting to cook, clean, sleep and try to have fun with all this going on is the biggest challenge! I think we’ve done pretty well, no major arguments with my lovely boyfriend and we’ve managed to laugh enough to realise that we still want to live together in our new home! So as I sit here now (in our wonderful new home) I can pretty much forget all the stress and strain. I love this house, it felt like home the minute I got here and it feels warm, cosy and happy…just the place for two very happy home owners!

As promised I’m back! It did take a little longer than anticipated but never mind. Life continues to make me busy, what with work and that joyful experience of purchasing a house! Well, we’re ticking along nicely with the whole house thing. Just got a few searches left to do and hopefully we’ll get a completion date very soon.

We decided that we just had to go for it with that house so we’ve chucked everything we have at it! Well, within reason. It means my boyfriend won’t be getting his new drum kit for a little while longer but it does mean that the existing kit will have the nicest new home!!!!! He is having the garage as a studio so all the drum stuff can live together in one place (and I won’t trip over it!) I love that he’s a drummer but it makes sense to keep all the music stuff together. It’ll be a pleasure to see it all together in one room rather than scattered around!

I can’t wait to move. I now know what people mean when they talk about how their life will be improved by their new surroundings. It really is the little things that excite me with this move but they all add up to being very important. Things like having room to put the laundry, space for the ironing board and easy access to the hoover! It may sound sad but that’s how I feel. God, the thought of a real airing cupboard… where things actually air and don’t get damp! Really big wardrobes (now that’s just music to a girl’s ears!), a big mirror in the bathroom… with space for all my essential beauty products…which yes, are essential! Big windows that open wide, a kitchen which more than 2 people can get in, a bathroom that doesn’t accommodate small creatures who like the damp!, room for book shelves, pictures, cd’s, dvd’s oh the list is endless! I’m sure you’re staring to sense my excitement and if you’ve done the same thing you’ll understand. I think it’s a really basic instinct in humans to create a warm, dry, safe, comfortable home and I want all that! I’m also thrilled to be able to do all this with man I love and build a home we both adore. That’s one of the most important things for me (and my boyfriend too I think), we wanted a home…not just a house. So for now you can keep heated swimming pools, tennis courts, room for a pony or even a jacuzzi! I’m happy with the little things!

Yes, I’m back, it’s been a while I know. I really don’t have any excuses, just that fact that life seems intent on preventing me from sitting down and writing and instead presents me with all the mundane things which mean I get to function on a daily basis. Anyway, I’m going to make a real effort to keep this updated, even if it’s just brief. My darling boyfriend despairs of me and I’m sure he thinks I actively search for houseworky things to do. The truth is that I no more want to tacle the pile of ironing than I do stick my head in a gas oven with a lighted Jo Malone scented candle!!!!!! (that one’s for the girls… well those with style and as many womens magazines as me!)

Anyway, on that note this will be brief but I will return. My head is spinning from the mania associated with attempting to purchase a house. That’s another story but I will keep you posted.
We’ve found the house of our (affordable) dreams and I can’t begin to tell you how much I love this house. Mentaly I’ve moved in… cleaned, hoovered, got the washing on and I’m getting ready to cook fajits’s for as many firends as we can get in the house! We’ve got 2 fridges filled with the best rose wine and a huge chocolate cake from my mum! and as I write this my eyes are filling up with tears because I’ve just admitted how important this is to me (and my boyfriend), we would make that house the happiest home….for two very happy people.

Is it just me or has anyone else realised how completely stupid some people become on busses? Why is it that people will stand, quite content waiting for the bus, watching the world (and all the other busses they don’t need) go by and when it finally arrives they suddenly burst into life? It always looks like they’ve forgotten they were waiting for a bus and seem completely surprised when it pulls up!

They start fumbling about with purses, wallets or handbags, searching franticly for loose change which they’ve only just remembered they need in order to get on the bus! These poor souls appear to loose all sense of co-ordination when chucking coins at the driver and as a result, can’t remember where they’re going!

Once on the bus, people find choosing a seat virtually impossible. I witnessed a man change seats 3 times on one particular journey. I’ve no idea why. I’m not even sure he knew! Too much choice confuses people (not just on busses either but that’s another story). It seems that decision making is just too difficult whilst on public transport. Looking bewildered and lost, some individuals simply decide to stand at the front of the bus… getting in the way!!!!!!

Why on earth do people think standing where others are trying to get on or off the bus is a good place to spend your journey? Why can’t people see that this the most ridiculous place to position themselves? As it is you have to be a stick insect to manoeuvre your way to front of the bus in order to get off. Remember of course that most drivers would really like you to leap from the moving vehicle rather than actually come to a complete halt. That would involve slowing down and heaven forbid changing to first gear! You often need to be an Olympic hurdler (or pole volter) in order to reach the door before the driver decides to pull away and don’t get me started on the grand prix style buggies and pushchairs you need to navigate.

I spend most journeys quietly seething and willing these dosey people to take a look around and realise that the rest of the passengers could cheerfully beat them about the head with their French stick!
Oh the joys of public transport! Trying to bore holes into their skull with my eyes is completely wasted. You see, as a result of them being so unbelievably dim they fail to notice my glares and looks of frustration and subsequently remain rooted to the spot!

You can, of course resort to the measures I now employ… walk!

Right, here we go. I’m about to rant! You’ll discover I’ve quite a skill in this department. Although it’s something I’d rather not have to do, I feel compelled to express my contempt for people who seem to think they have the god given right to be as obnoxious as possible!

Take today for example, I was shopping in a local supermarket. I haven’t been to this supermarket for some time and (due to the fact that shops seem to think it’s immense fun to move products on an hourly basis) I was somewhat disorientated. I stopped momentarily to find my bearings and hopefully locate the self raising flour, which I hastened to add was like trying to find the holy grail.

Now remember, I’m lost (kind of) and trying to look beyond all the goodies the store has to offer and simply locate the flour aisle so I was not proceeding in a particularly swift fashion. Stopping at a crossroads somewhere between cold meats, pet food, firelighters and pasta sauce, imagine my shock as I was struck by a trolley!

On turning around ,you may expect, as I was, to be greeted by a quick “Sorry, didn’t see you there”. No. I was met by a portly, grey haired man who I guess was around 70. He continued to push his trolley into me, forcing me out the way in much the same way as earth moving equipment might do when making way for a new road! The cherry on the bakewell is that he had the audacity to say, in a relly smug, arrogant manner “Well, don’t stop”. Oh right, I’ll just keep moving shall I? Would it please you if I never stopped anywhere, for anything? Heaven forbid I get in his way and stop the supermarket sweep he obviously thought he was entering!

Now, I’m not known for keeping quiet in the face of injustice but I’m pleased to say I didn’t swear at all. I pissing could have, that shit faced bastard… but no, I remained calm and collected as I said to him “Good god, how rude” in my best headmistress tone. His wife, who was clearly trying make out she wasn’t his wife went the most vivid shade of crimson and couldn’t even look at me.

I don’t know why I was surprised by this incident, it seems pretty normal for people to behave in this way and actually feel justified in doing so. I think it’s a reflection of society in general that you can be a real shit and in many cases become famous, successful and wealthy as a result. Just look at “reality” TV, like that god awful cooking/ kitchen crap with some “celebrity” chef. I don’t recall the cretin’s name but he was paid to produce a TV show where he got to yell, swear and humiliate those working for him. Yes, working!

I wonder what kind of effect this will eventually have on the younger generation. What does it teach them? That you can be as rude, intolerant, arrogant and as foul mouthed as possible and hey, you might get a TV show!?!

I’m not done on this subject, as you can probably tell! However, I refuse to bought down by these horrible people who have clearly missed the point of life, love, laughter and all things pretty and nice in the world. I pity them, they don’t know what they’re missing and quite frankly if they ever work it out it’ll probably be too late! I’m off to laugh now… because I can… and it feels great! So, f*** off trolley monster!

Ok, we have lots more to talk about. Well, by that I mean I’m going to write stuff and you just have to read! Yay!… a captive audience!

I should probably explain why I’m writting this (of course that very much relies on someone reading it and actually caring!) But hey, I’m a positive thinker and why wouldn’t the general public want to read about me and my dysfunctional but highly amusing friends?

You will note there that I refer only to my friends being dysfunctional, not me. There’s a reason for that…they are all mad as cucumbers…and I’m not. Now, you may think this somewhat unkind, believe me it isn’t. I love them all dearly but they are mad.

I, on the other hand am not mad but I don’t consider myself perfect either. Well, I’m almost Mary Poppins, you know “Practicley Perfect In Every Way”…ok, watch the film if that made no sense! Ok, I have my moments but not usually in the elaborate fashion my friends do. You’ll get to hear all about this in time.

Anyway, there are a couple more ‘Cows’ I need to tell you about… (they are of course people not cows but I guess you’re getting the hang of this by now. If not, best of luck!)

I failed to introduce ‘Dizzy Cow’ in my first post… (or article or whatever you want to call it). She hadn’t been given a cow title at that time but as she’ll undoubtedly be mentioned in these posts, it was only fair to welcome her into the fold. Dizzy. The name just fit’s.
All will become apparent in subsequant entries. Trust me!

Then we have the reason I’m actually writing this. Which I think is what I intended to explain when I started this peice… but I got side tracked a bit. Anyway, this cow is still untitled and I guess it should be a bull, because he’s a boy!

I won’t go into too much detail (don’t want to embarass him you understand) but he’s just the most wonderfull man in the world! He also happens to be incredably clever, talented, passionate (oh my!), sexy, attractive and tecnically minded! The technically minded bit really refers to his skill and knowledege relating to computing.

I fall into a category approx 10 million miles away from that. A place where technology has bypassed me alltoghther…and guess what, I don’t care. Well I did care but there was nobody around to guide me so I kind of gave up! Untill now! Anyway, Mr Wonderfull (still need to think of a cow name so I’ll call him this for now) explained you can create your own site and say what you want. Now, I can talk (you’ve worked that out allready have’nt you? he he), so here I am! Unleashed on the world!

I guess this is really a kind of journel. A place where I can recount funny stories, thoughts, feelings, opinions, ideas and have a good rant about all the stuff that really get’s my goat! or should that be cow? I love my life and all the great stuff the world has to offer but things never run smoothly (well, not for long anyway) so I’ll be documenting the lot! Good, bad, happy, sad or just plain stupid! Enjoy!

Oh, if you want to leave a comment please feel free.

I should probably start by explaining the whole “Cow Eyes” thing! Are you sitting comfortably?… I don’t really care, just thought it would be polite to ask. Well, it all started last year, August to be precise.

I went on my first caravan holiday with two of the funniest, loveable and pretty much most entertaining women in the world! They also happen to be two of my best friends… so I’m just a bit biased. Now you’ll get to hear all about the stories behind the names and believe me there are many to tell!

Firstly, let me introduce us; I’m ‘Cow Eyes’. You maybe thinking “Ahh, she must have lovely chocolate brown eyes and long eyelashes …not unlike a nice milker” I hear you say! No. My eyes are blue, quite a nice blue actually and my eyelashes are great… and long… but thanks mostly to Christian Dior or the newest mascara on the market (we’ll talk more about that later too!) but yes, I have nice eyes so I’m Cow Eyes.

Next we have ‘Cow Face’. No, she doesn’t bare a huge resemblance to a Jersey cow but was the first of us to be christened! The baptism took palce during the aforementioned holiday… stay with me, details will follow!

Then there’s ‘Laughing Cow’. Just think of the ad for a well known cheese spread and you’re there! She laughs a lot! In fact she’s been known to wee herself as a result of continued and often drink fuelled bouts of giggles!

Now, ‘Laughing Cow’ has two adorable children… or calves you might say! Her daughter is ten years old, going on 19 and as such has been awarded the title ‘Stroppy Cow’. A little unfair really, she’s wonderfull in so many ways… and stroppy in so many others!

Then we have ‘Cow Pat’! He’s the youngest of us all. Sort of a cow in training! He was nearly nine months old when the poor hapless child was sentenced to a week in Cornwall with us lot. I still worry, that in years to come he’ll recount the stories for a psychologist to unravel! He was given the name of ‘Cow Pat’ as a result of…. now I can’t mince my words with this… his nappy! Cow poo pretty much sums up the aroma of what he expelled. Small people can create a huge smell!

Finally we arrive at ‘Dosey Cow’. Not an entirely glamorous name, granted, but here’s how it came about. This friend was not present on our holiday, although I hope we can rectify that one day and have a reunion for the whole herd of cows! As a result she felt somewhat left out. Understandable. Now, her maiden name was Dawes (I think I have the right) and as a result she was nicknamed ‘Dawesy’ (meaning ‘Dosey’) Cow. On learning this, us cows fell about laughing! A little heartless but incredably funny, so it stuck… and to be frank, it does kind of fit!