Filed under: Life
I should probably start by explaining the whole “Cow Eyes” thing! Are you sitting comfortably?… I don’t really care, just thought it would be polite to ask. Well, it all started last year, August to be precise.
I went on my first caravan holiday with two of the funniest, loveable and pretty much most entertaining women in the world! They also happen to be two of my best friends… so I’m just a bit biased. Now you’ll get to hear all about the stories behind the names and believe me there are many to tell!
Firstly, let me introduce us; I’m ‘Cow Eyes’. You maybe thinking “Ahh, she must have lovely chocolate brown eyes and long eyelashes …not unlike a nice milker” I hear you say! No. My eyes are blue, quite a nice blue actually and my eyelashes are great… and long… but thanks mostly to Christian Dior or the newest mascara on the market (we’ll talk more about that later too!) but yes, I have nice eyes so I’m Cow Eyes.
Next we have ‘Cow Face’. No, she doesn’t bare a huge resemblance to a Jersey cow but was the first of us to be christened! The baptism took palce during the aforementioned holiday… stay with me, details will follow!
Then there’s ‘Laughing Cow’. Just think of the ad for a well known cheese spread and you’re there! She laughs a lot! In fact she’s been known to wee herself as a result of continued and often drink fuelled bouts of giggles!
Now, ‘Laughing Cow’ has two adorable children… or calves you might say! Her daughter is ten years old, going on 19 and as such has been awarded the title ‘Stroppy Cow’. A little unfair really, she’s wonderfull in so many ways… and stroppy in so many others!
Then we have ‘Cow Pat’! He’s the youngest of us all. Sort of a cow in training! He was nearly nine months old when the poor hapless child was sentenced to a week in Cornwall with us lot. I still worry, that in years to come he’ll recount the stories for a psychologist to unravel! He was given the name of ‘Cow Pat’ as a result of…. now I can’t mince my words with this… his nappy! Cow poo pretty much sums up the aroma of what he expelled. Small people can create a huge smell!
Finally we arrive at ‘Dosey Cow’. Not an entirely glamorous name, granted, but here’s how it came about. This friend was not present on our holiday, although I hope we can rectify that one day and have a reunion for the whole herd of cows! As a result she felt somewhat left out. Understandable. Now, her maiden name was Dawes (I think I have the right) and as a result she was nicknamed ‘Dawesy’ (meaning ‘Dosey’) Cow. On learning this, us cows fell about laughing! A little heartless but incredably funny, so it stuck… and to be frank, it does kind of fit!
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