There was the time Neets and I missed the train back from Run to the Sun in Newquay, (I got drunk and disappeared, very out of character for moi). We had to crash with some guys we knew from Saltash (only a small coincidence the Neets had a huge crush one of them). We were smuggled into the campsite in the back of a VW beetle (so rock and roll!) Although a little worse for wear (and being slightly distracted by a skater friend of said guys from Saltash), I did wonder why they had decided in their wisdom to pitch (see, I know the lingo!) a tent on a fairly substantial hill next to the stage which was playing host to a very enthusiastic dance DJ. Even with my limited knowledge of camping common sense, this seemed to be a poor choice.

I also have some fairly high maintenance friends. I don’t think they’ll be offended by this description, I mean purely from the “roughing it as a way to have a fun weekend” point of view. There was never a suggestion from any of the girls that we should have a camping weekend. There was of course the caravan holiday with my fellow cows, but that was really as far we got with the whole “back to nature” activity. Cowface doesn’t regard nature very highly, not if she has to actually be in it for too long (although a Pimms will always make it a much nicer place). Now I’m not suggesting that she doesn’t appreciate a stunning coastline or a lush green field to gaze over but she has no desire to be part of it (too wet, too muddy, too far to walk, that kind of sentiment). She’s a City Moo, bless her. Laughing Cow is better. She grew up in Cornwall, and, like me, will happily work a relaxed “beachy” look. On occasion she’ll throw caution to the wind an even do away with her usual polished look (what’s not to love about Big Hair?). Other friends have camped, but usually at the behest of their man and/or a promise of some inflatable(mattress, not bouncy castle) fun under the stars!

So I’ve always been inquisitive about camping, the idea of being outdoors , sleeping and eating, really appeals to me. When I was young I used to love being able to go into the garden on a warm summer evening with my pj’s on. If I’d had a bath and washed my hair, mum would let me sit in the sun and dry my hair naturally (no danger of me catching a cold, my hair would dry in next to no time. It was, and still is, fluffy wuffy fly away hair. The kind of hair that could easily be dried with a sneeze from a fairly large dog). Even now, when the opportunity arises, I will take my cup of tea into the garden in the morning and sit in my pj’s whilst I enjoy the early morning sounds. I love listening to the birds, I love that nature seems to be in charge at that time of the morning, there are no (or very few) people making a noise so you can really appreciate what’s happening around you. I always feel that nature is getting on with it’s business before the pesky humans get up and start getting in their way. Having been disturbed by me hanging out some washing,  I imagine a Blackbird sitting in our apple tree thinking “I didn’t sign up for this, having to stop my juicy grub hunting to wait for this girl to disappear indoors again and leave the garden to me”.

Anyway, back to the matter in hand, camping. I’m not sure exactly how we came to the decision to go forth and camp… oh yeah, I do remember. My husband was playing at a festival in Wales and there was no other option but to camp. Oh, that’s another tale in itself so we’ll come back to that later. Yes, so, camping had been agreed and a trial weekend was identified. Dan had a seminar in Falmouth so we decided to look for a campsite nearby. We found a lovely one at Meanporth, just outside Falmouth, by the sea. We arrived, signed in and set up camp. Dan is very good at erections (sorry, I couldn’t resist!) and we had the tent up in no time at all. We decided to take it easy on the first night so agreed to go and find a pub for some dinner. Well as it happened we found an amazing restaurant called The Cove, they serve a stunning glass of wine and the food was truly wonderful. This was turning into a “glamping” weekend, which I can totally get on board with!

I spent the next day amusing myself in Falmouth whilst Dan attended his seminar. It was a great day, a fair amount of sunshine and plenty of time to browse in shops, read and just spend a little bit of time with myself. I met Dan later and we had a BBQ on the beach with some of his friends from the seminar (nice bunch of people by the way) and partook of a few drinks. We made our way back to the campsite as the sun set and a few clouds started to form. Settling ourselves outside the tent with a glass of wine, I was wondering why we hadn’t done this before. The campsite itself was pretty quiet, it was only early June, so it was just us and the birds tweeting away (the old fashioned tweeting of course, not on an i phone!).  I settled down for an early night, I’d done a lot of walking that day and was cream crackered. Not long after snuggling under the duvet, a soft drizzle descended and I was gently lulled to sleep by the sound of light rain on nylon (oh the romance!).

And then it all went horribly, monumentally wrong in the most torrential way!

Now, I’m not one to scare easily (well, not that easily) but oh my word I have never encountered the sound of a howling wind and rain under what is essentially a small portion of manmade fibre. In the middle of a field (it seemed a good spot at the time), we were buffeted from every angle and the sound was horrific. There was a section of nylon that covered the top of the tent, secured by attaching it to the poles (I called it the flappy hat), and this was being whipped into a frenzy with every gust of wind! I was convinced that this was going to be ripped from the top of the tent and sent flying into a tree, far out of our reach. At 1.00am – yes, 1.00am, we debated the possibility of packing up the tent and driving home. There was no end to this storm and it seemed as though the wind was picking up every time we mentioned trying to ride it out. Common sense prevailed (although I still reckon I would’ve given it a go) and we decided to try and get some rest and make a move at first light. Sleep was impossible so at around 4.00am we decided we had just enough light to pack (well ok, shove) everything in the car. We packed up the contents of the tent and in a moment of genius set aside some dry clothes to change into after operation “Abandon Camp”!  We looked a treat as we donned waterproofs and boots (so glad we chucked all this in the car “just in case”) and started to load the car. Oh it was awful, it was lashing down and we could barely see what we were doing. On the up side, I think we did a stirling job of packing everything away. It was like a SAS manoeuvre. I thought it best to let Dan take control (feminists, stay clam). He knew how the tent went up (I helped of course but essentially did what I was told by way of holding/poking/lifting at various times) so he was going to make a much better  job at taking the thing down. It worked. We worked together. It was a great piece of “soaked to the skin, can’t really feel my fingers, oh my it’s very muddy” teamwork. Never underestimate the success of one person taking charge and the other doing as requested if it means getting a tricky job done quickly and done well. Had we needed to produce a Victoria Sponge, the roles of course would’ve been reversed and I (master baker of the family) would have been issuing the orders to Dan (lovingly) and he would have carried them out without hesitation (dotingly). We focused on the matter in hand and eventually managed to get to the toilet block and jump into dry clothes for the journey back. To say we were tired would be an understatement. Once we arrived home we had a cup of tea, a bacon sandwich and fell into bed. It continued to rain all day so even if we’d stayed the job of packing the tent would still have been rain soaked.

Most importantly I did have fun on my first camping trip. With it blowing a hoolie and chucking it down with rain, it did dampen my spirits somewhat but I got to experience enough of the good stuff and a small insight into the future fun that could be had. We survived a truly terrible storm, on our first camping trip, so I felt I could tackle anything now, which as it turns out was a slightly over enthusiastic  attitude to take given our next camping trip – The Sonic Rock Festival, Wales.

Next time: Festival camping – a whole new kettle of lentils!

It’s been one of the most stressful but exciting things I’ve ever done but I have to say that I’m glad it’s all over now! According to friends this has been a pretty straightforward move, no real problems to cause us any delay and no chain to contend with. On the practical side it’s been plain sailing but I still felt anxious and by the end I (well, we) were completely exhausted.

I think it’s just that the whole process is so demanding. You have to organise so much stuff, call people, fill in paperwork- and send it back to the correct department. Hope the said department has actually received it and will file it somewhere safe, not use it as a place to put a hob nob! You find this process repeats itself every couple of days!

Working full time, attempting to cook, clean, sleep and try to have fun with all this going on is the biggest challenge! I think we’ve done pretty well, no major arguments with my lovely boyfriend and we’ve managed to laugh enough to realise that we still want to live together in our new home! So as I sit here now (in our wonderful new home) I can pretty much forget all the stress and strain. I love this house, it felt like home the minute I got here and it feels warm, cosy and happy, just the place for two very happy home owners!

We decided that we just had to go for it with that house so we’ve chucked everything we have at it! Well, within reason. It means my boyfriend won’t be getting his new drum kit for a little while longer but it does mean that the existing kit will have the nicest new home!!!!! He is having the garage as a studio so all the drum stuff can live together in one place (and I won’t trip over it!) I love that he’s a drummer but it makes sense to keep all the music stuff together. It’ll be a pleasure to see it all together in one room rather than scattered around!

I can’t wait to move. I now know what people mean when they talk about how their life will be improved by their new surroundings. It really is the little things that excite me with this move but they all add up to being very important. Things like having room to put the laundry, space for the ironing board and easy access to the hoover! It may sound sad but that’s how I feel. God, the thought of a real airing cupboard, where things actually air and don’t get damp! Really big wardrobes (now that’s just music to a girl’s ears!), a big mirror in the bathroom, with space for all my essential beauty products, which yes, are essential! Big windows that open wide, a kitchen which more than 2 people can get in, a bathroom that doesn’t accommodate small creatures who like the damp!, room for book shelves, pictures, cd’s, dvd’s oh the list is endless! I’m sure you’re staring to sense my excitement and if you’ve done the same thing you’ll understand. I think it’s a really basic instinct in humans to create a warm, dry, safe, comfortable home and I want all that! I’m also thrilled to be able to do all this with man I love and build a home we both adore. That’s one of the most important things for me (and my boyfriend too I think), we wanted a home,not just a house. So for now you can keep heated swimming pools, tennis courts, room for a pony or even a jacuzzi! I’m happy with the little things!

Anyway, on that note this will be brief but I will return. My head is spinning from the mania associated with attempting to purchase a house. That’s another story but I will keep you posted.
We’ve found the house of our (affordable) dreams and I can’t begin to tell you how much I love this house. Mentaly I’ve moved in… cleaned, hoovered, got the washing on and I’m getting ready to cook fajits’s for as many firends as we can get in the house! We’ve got 2 fridges filled with the best rose wine and a huge chocolate cake from my mum! and as I write this my eyes are filling up with tears because I’ve just admitted how important this is to me (and my boyfriend), we would make that house the happiest home….for two very happy people.

They start fumbling about with purses, wallets or handbags, searching franticly for loose change which they’ve only just remembered they need in order to get on the bus! These poor souls appear to loose all sense of co-ordination when chucking coins at the driver and as a result, can’t remember where they’re going!

Once on the bus, people find choosing a seat virtually impossible. I witnessed a man change seats 3 times on one particular journey. I’ve no idea why. I’m not even sure he knew! Too much choice confuses people (not just on busses either but that’s another story). It seems that decision making is just too difficult whilst on public transport. Looking bewildered and lost, some individuals simply decide to stand at the front of the bus… getting in the way!!!!!!

Why on earth do people think standing where others are trying to get on or off the bus is a good place to spend your journey? Why can’t people see that this the most ridiculous place to position themselves? As it is you have to be a stick insect to manoeuvre your way to front of the bus in order to get off. Remember of course that most drivers would really like you to leap from the moving vehicle rather than actually come to a complete halt. That would involve slowing down and heaven forbid changing to first gear! You often need to be an Olympic hurdler (or pole volter) in order to reach the door before the driver decides to pull away and don’t get me started on the grand prix style buggies and pushchairs you need to navigate.

I spend most journeys quietly seething and willing these dosey people to take a look around and realise that the rest of the passengers could cheerfully beat them about the head with their French stick!
Oh the joys of public transport! Trying to bore holes into their skull with my eyes is completely wasted. You see, as a result of them being so unbelievably dim they fail to notice my glares and looks of frustration and subsequently remain rooted to the spot!

You can, of course resort to the measures I now employ… walk!

On a slightly more serious note, I’m really quite pleased with myself. It’s been a while since I’ve had to impress anyone (well, apart from my boyfriend of course). When you’re in a job that slowly turns your brain to soup, it’s difficult to summon up the energy, enthusiasm or even the right shoes to make you feel worthy of a new start. That’s pretty much what happened to me at my current (but not for long) job. You slip into that safety zone where you get used to a regular wage, which for this part of the country isn’t bad. It means you get to do all the stuff outside of work which is much more fun but generally involves money. Pretty things aren’t cheap you know and there are so many delights to be had, what’s a girl to do!

Well, I’ve now secured a job that appears to be both varied and challenging (which is company speak for “sometimes you’ll hate this job just think of the shoes you can buy at the end of the month”) and the salary is ok. I’m obviously worth a whole lot more but to be fair they still have to show a profit after I’ve been paid so I guess it’s a little pushy to name my price. The people seem nice and I hope I get make some more great friends. Oh, and I really hope they have a sense of humour. You’ll be amazed how many people have it removed thinking it’ll save money, much like a water meter!

Anyway, I’m quite sure there’ll be lots more on this topic so I’ll leave it there. I have to go and source new shoes and bags now, I mean, it is a new job after all and I feel it’s my duty to look good for the nice people who gave me a job! Yay!

I was so sure that I’d receive that call today, meaning I could unleash myself on the joy that is Exeter shopping centre! (and those nice new jeans from Gap which now fit like a glove because I’ve lost weight!) Alas, it would appear those jeans (and the rest of Exeter’s retail delights) are safe for the foreseeable!

Anyway, there was another reason for this post so I’ll just have to focus on that and update you about the nice new job (and jeans) as soon as I can. It’s still related to the whole “new job” saga so here goes. I received a call yesterday, from the nice people who I very much hope will employ me. My interview was arranged for 4.00 pm so I thought, “oh I’ll have a nice day, make something for dinner, do the washing”. I know what your thinking… she needs to get out more. Well, I actually quite like the whole domestic thing but it’s probably because I recently moved into my new home with my lovely boyfriend… I’ll explain more later!

Anyway, the call I received was enough to send me into a complete hissy fit! The nice people required a cv. Not an unreasonable request from a prospective employer I hear you say, which I would agree. Or rather I would’ve agreed if I’d had one to give them and they didn’t want it at least 4 hours before my interview! Oh the panic! Well, I did what every sensible girl should do in this situation… find a “man who can”! That man was my boyfriend. He’s great in so many ways, to which we can now add compiling cv’s in less time than it takes for me to buy those nice jeans from Gap! He really was my knight in shining armour (but I knew that anyway). I messaged him (at work) and explained my predicament. He was cool, calm and very clever!

Sensing I was a woman approaching the edge, he suggested I chill out and make a cup of tea while he set about sorting me out. The long and the short of it is that I typed all the stuff I wanted to say about myself (within reason of course) and emailed it to him. He then tinkered about doing all the “techie” stuff that makes it look much prettier, sorry “professional”! and low and behold I had a cv fit for a girl on a mission for a new job! His boss had a look too and agreed it was fine (I think it needs a bit more work but I was thrilled at the result).

So I really wanted to say two things. Firstly, I love my boyfriend and I’m beginning to see the advantages of living with a self confessed “techie” and secondly, I’m booking lessons with him so that he can show me how to do all this stuff on my own. He really knows his stuff and I don’t think I always appreciate his skills. Invisible techie stuff scares me and I’m doing this while he’s out… so it’ll be hit and miss if you ever get to read it! But I’ve decided to embrace the whole “technology” thing and see what havoc I can wreak! I’m reliably informed that it’s not as scary as I seem to think, however, I’m a girl who doesn’t know her “dongle” from a hole in the ground so I feel I have a long way to go! (yes, “dongle”… don’t ask, because I really can’t explain but trust me it is a real techie thingy!)

Keep those fingers crossed for me!

I’ve never been made redundant before and to be honest I thought I’d have felt a little more remorse. No. Not a sausage! Not because I hate my job you understand, it’s just that it’s been on the cards for so long it came as quite a relief! There’s only so long an employer can reassure you that jobs are safe, whilst offering early retirement, clearing out office equipment and sending work to India! Yes, I’m losing my job, not because of my colleagues and I are unable to deliver business results or because the company is falling apart and can’t afford to pay us all, no. It’s simply that the work, all of it, can be carried out overseas at a fraction of the cost! (that’s another post altogether, I’ll be back to this at a later date!)

Anyway, I happened to receive a call the day after this was announced and it has led to two interviews for a new job. Actually, I may go so far as to describe it as a “career”! I’ve never really known what kind of career I wanted, a job is pretty much all I required. You know, something to keep the wolves from the door and shoes on my feet (oh, and the bags to match, with maybe a nice new top and those new jeans from Gap which fit like a glove now I’ve lost weight!). I always wanted to know what I wanted to be. Kids at school wanted to be teachers, vet’s, hairdressers, drug dealers… and they are! Very successful they are too! I hoped that I would suddenly decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. I’m still waiting to grow up… so to be fair I’m running short of time here!

I realised that I should focus on the skills I have (which are actually quite impressive now I’ve listed them). I’m not exactly lacking in confidence but I think it’s easy to overlook the things you’re good at, especially if you don’t have specific qualifications which people can relate to. I’ve learnt to sell myself but I’m still really nervous about taking the initiative and saying “Hey, I can do that job”. Having faith in your own ability doesn’t always come easy. Even if you know you can do the job, quite often you feel the job description requires sub titles and some kind of hand book just to decipher the role!

I’m two interviews down and I’m getting the verdict tomorrow! I haven’t told you about the actual job yet, well if I don’t get it there won’t be any point so I’m going to wait until tomorrow. Obviously if I do fail miserably I’m going to cancel the plans to write my new book… “How To Get Made Redundant and Find Another Job in Two Easy Interviews”!
Fingers crossed…

Take today for example, I was shopping in a local supermarket. I haven’t been to this supermarket for some time and (due to the fact that shops seem to think it’s immense fun to move products on an hourly basis) I was somewhat disorientated. I stopped momentarily to find my bearings and hopefully locate the self raising flour, which I hastened to add was like trying to find the holy grail.

Now remember, I’m lost (kind of) and trying to look beyond all the goodies the store has to offer and simply locate the flour aisle so I was not proceeding in a particularly swift fashion. Stopping at a crossroads somewhere between cold meats, pet food, firelighters and pasta sauce, imagine my shock as I was struck by a trolley!

On turning around ,you may expect, as I was, to be greeted by a quick “Sorry, didn’t see you there”. No. I was met by a portly, grey haired man who I guess was around 70. He continued to push his trolley into me, forcing me out the way in much the same way as earth moving equipment might do when making way for a new road! The cherry on the bakewell is that he had the audacity to say, in a relly smug, arrogant manner “Well, don’t stop”. Oh right, I’ll just keep moving shall I? Would it please you if I never stopped anywhere, for anything? Heaven forbid I get in his way and stop the supermarket sweep he obviously thought he was entering!

Now, I’m not known for keeping quiet in the face of injustice but I’m pleased to say I didn’t swear at all. I pissing could have, that shit faced bastard… but no, I remained calm and collected as I said to him “Good god, how rude” in my best headmistress tone. His wife, who was clearly trying make out she wasn’t his wife went the most vivid shade of crimson and couldn’t even look at me.

I don’t know why I was surprised by this incident, it seems pretty normal for people to behave in this way and actually feel justified in doing so. I think it’s a reflection of society in general that you can be a real shit and in many cases become famous, successful and wealthy as a result. Just look at “reality” TV, like that god awful cooking/ kitchen crap with some “celebrity” chef. I don’t recall the cretin’s name but he was paid to produce a TV show where he got to yell, swear and humiliate those working for him. Yes, working!

I wonder what kind of effect this will eventually have on the younger generation. What does it teach them? That you can be as rude, intolerant, arrogant and as foul mouthed as possible and hey, you might get a TV show!?!

I’m not done on this subject, as you can probably tell! However, I refuse to bought down by these horrible people who have clearly missed the point of life, love, laughter and all things pretty and nice in the world. I pity them, they don’t know what they’re missing and quite frankly if they ever work it out it’ll probably be too late! I’m off to laugh now… because I can… and it feels great! So, f*** off trolley monster!

I should probably explain why I’m writting this (of course that very much relies on someone reading it and actually caring!) But hey, I’m a positive thinker and why wouldn’t the general public want to read about me and my dysfunctional but highly amusing friends?

You will note there that I refer only to my friends being dysfunctional, not me. There’s a reason for that…they are all mad as cucumbers…and I’m not. Now, you may think this somewhat unkind, believe me it isn’t. I love them all dearly but they are mad.

I, on the other hand am not mad but I don’t consider myself perfect either. Well, I’m almost Mary Poppins, you know “Practicley Perfect In Every Way”…ok, watch the film if that made no sense! Ok, I have my moments but not usually in the elaborate fashion my friends do. You’ll get to hear all about this in time.

Anyway, there are a couple more ‘Cows’ I need to tell you about… (they are of course people not cows but I guess you’re getting the hang of this by now. If not, best of luck!)

I failed to introduce ‘Dizzy Cow’ in my first post… (or article or whatever you want to call it). She hadn’t been given a cow title at that time but as she’ll undoubtedly be mentioned in these posts, it was only fair to welcome her into the fold. Dizzy. The name just fit’s.
All will become apparent in subsequant entries. Trust me!

Then we have the reason I’m actually writing this. Which I think is what I intended to explain when I started this peice… but I got side tracked a bit. Anyway, this cow is still untitled and I guess it should be a bull, because he’s a boy!

I won’t go into too much detail (don’t want to embarass him you understand) but he’s just the most wonderfull man in the world! He also happens to be incredably clever, talented, passionate (oh my!), sexy, attractive and tecnically minded! The technically minded bit really refers to his skill and knowledege relating to computing.

I fall into a category approx 10 million miles away from that. A place where technology has bypassed me alltoghther…and guess what, I don’t care. Well I did care but there was nobody around to guide me so I kind of gave up! Untill now! Anyway, Mr Wonderfull (still need to think of a cow name so I’ll call him this for now) explained you can create your own site and say what you want. Now, I can talk (you’ve worked that out allready have’nt you? he he), so here I am! Unleashed on the world!

I guess this is really a kind of journel. A place where I can recount funny stories, thoughts, feelings, opinions, ideas and have a good rant about all the stuff that really get’s my goat! or should that be cow? I love my life and all the great stuff the world has to offer but things never run smoothly (well, not for long anyway) so I’ll be documenting the lot! Good, bad, happy, sad or just plain stupid! Enjoy!

Oh, if you want to leave a comment please feel free.